Forgiveness: For yourself

I would like to share with you that I am really struggling through something. I'm dealing with a situation that has led me to feel inadequate, foolish, hurt.... so much hurt......, sadness, resentment, fear... a lot of feelings that aren't so "fit and pretty".

My heart feels broken, tarnished, damaged, like there is a huge gaping hole in it that I can't fix. I go through such a roller coaster of emotions. Happiness, contentment, hope, love, numbness, and then my whole gamut of bad emotions. 

I am introspective enough to realize that these feelings are a) not productive and b) some that I will have to let go of. In this journey there are people that I have to forgive, but right now I need to start by forgiving the most important one of all: MYSELF.

I largely feel like I have let myself down. How could I let this situation happen to me. Wasn't I good enough? Didn't I do my best? Was that not sufficient? That's a big thought/ feeling I struggle with daily. Tears and heartache really have become my closest friends as of late- but I know that is a friendship I will have to give up.

Today I would like to begin to move forward and start my healing processes. Forgiveness to myself. 

I am enough.

I did try my best-and my best was good enough; regardless as to whether or not someone else agreed on that.

I am beautiful, smart, and have a great future ahead. 

I am loving, caring, amazing.

The situation that happened is in no part my fault.

I am a great human being to which of whom anyone would be so lucky to have me; because I am more than enough. 

Have any of you been struggling though a similar situation? Are you hurting? Please start by forgiving yourself. Know that sometimes situations are unfair, and bad things happen- but that doesn't mean that they are your fault. 

Forgive yourself today. 

Make a list and remind yourself of why you are enough. Why things were not your fault. Why you are a catch. Remind yourself how fit and pretty you are. 

I would love to say that the healing process is easy and that the above will fix everything. I wish that was the case. There will be good days, and there will be bad days- some worse than others. But if you can remind yourself that you are amazing and keep that forgiveness for yourself in place then you are on the right track. Forgive yourself even if you never got an apology, closure, etc.  

Forgiving those that have faltered you is also important and it is a logical step that will come, but only when you are ready.

Start with forgiving yourself so you can forgive others. Shower yourself with love. You are enough. You are amazing. Beautiful, smart, funny, fit, caring, loving, and above all more than enough.  Don't let others take that from you or make you believe otherwise. You need to be your own cheerleader in life because in all honestly there are only few people you can really count on. Even those that you once believed blindly would always be there, might not be. So love yourself and relentlessly believe in yourself.

You are more than enough.

Forgive yourself today for the most important person in your life. YOU.

Sending all my love,

-Carmen

Life: 99, Me: 0- Keeping score in Life

Growing up from a young age, we are taught to keep score. Scores of tests, sporting games, the list goes on. But this morning I had a thought- in life should we keep score? Should we keep note of every time someone wrongs us, hurts us, or lies to us? Should we tally each time life gets one on us, or should in turn forgive, move on, and continue?

I happen to know someone who keeps score on life. I will make an assertion and  say he is not happy. His health isn't well, his personal relationships are strained, and within him you can feel so much hate. On the contrast, I know someone who does not keep score with life. He is happy soul. He takes life one day at a time; and will turn 86 this year with no real health problems. Just there you can see the stark difference- you will be surprised to hear that the (soon to be) 86 year old man is the score counters father.

We have all been wronged in one way or another. We have encountered unfair situations, we have been hurt, we have been let down. There have been times that you have been so hurt, you have even questioned whether or not you should continue believing in others. But despite that should we keep score? Have you been keeping a tally?


I have learned that life isn't about keeping score. It isn't about how many times you have been wronged. It isn't about how many unfair situations you have been in. It isn't about who hurt you and didn't say sorry and it isn't about how many times you have been cut off in traffic.

Life is about who you love. It is about how you feel about yourself. It is about trust, happiness, compassion, and forgiveness. It's about standing by the ones you love.  It is about replacing inner hate with love. It is about loving those that love you; and having compassion for those that don't. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. Most of all, life is about using your life to touch someone else's life in a way that could never be achieved otherwise.  That is what life is about.

So I would like to ask you, are you a score keeper? How would you feel about letting go, and stopping the count? Perhaps you  might even feel a little better. Living healthfully well into your 80's doesn't sound half bad either :)

What are your thoughts on keeping score on life? What is your scoreboard at? Leave your thoughts below.

Keep living, loving, and forgiving.

Talk soon,

-Carmen