When Weight Loss Turns Bad- My Personal Struggle

I want to start this off by telling you that I will be sharing my personal story. It was hard to write, but if there is someone struggling out there with weight or body image, maybe you yourself are or know someone that is  and they read it, I hope it gives you hope. Hopefully it helps them feel connected, like they are not the only ones going through it. I am here to tell you, you are not alone.

My struggles with weight and body image are long and deep rooted. They go far back into my childhood-and maybe that is why they have have stuck around and lurked for so long. I grew up being a little bit of a chubby kid (looking back on it now, and looking at pictures I was a pretty normal weight kid, almost fit by today's new wave over childhood obesity, but that's nor here nor there).  Despite being a fairly nice and sweet kid, it felt like I was always the target of mean comments about my weight. Sadly, these were not from strangers, they were from what should have been loving and positive image supportive family members. My half brother, big mouthed and rude neighbor, and extended family were my biggest critics. The fact that neither one of my parents told them to stop the teasing did not help the situation.

So at the age 8 years old I began to exercise. I vividly remember my first exercise session. I took our family dog Cisco (who in doggy heaven may he rest ) for a run around my neighborhood. It's interesting how some things become etched in our minds, because I remember that day so vividly. My parents were eating dinner whem I announced that I was going for a run. My parents only let me run up and down my street, but that was okay I could still run up and down it.

From there on I became exercise and diet obsessed. By the 8th grade I remember "dieting", skipping lunch at school, attempting to only eat a few kernels of corn on the cob for dinner and figuring out ways to "pretend" to have eaten the pancakes my mom would make fresh every morning for breakfast before school.  I played soccer and was on the swim team so this kept my weight low and I was a slim 115 pounds. The comments about my weight had stopped, but I was always fearful of them coming or them being said behind my back. Despite looking fit, I never looked fit enough to my personal standards, I never felt fit enough to not be criticized and scrutinized by family

In high school I struggled with my weight again. The "popular" and pretty girls were 105 pounds, something rediculous like that, and here I was a plump size 5. So at the age of 16 I began to take diet pills. I would take them for a period of time, but they would give me so much anxiety that I would stop taking them. I felt miserable.

I read US Weekly, and other magazines like the bible, scouring them for new diets and tricks to stay slim. One summer I followed US Weekly's Jessica Simpson plan to get into her Daisy Dukes. A completely low carb diet, with lots of squats, abs, and cardio. In two months I looked great! By the time my senior year came around I looked great. But I can tell you that low carb diets are tricky, once you start eating carbs again, the weight piles back on, and you find yourself back at square one, if not in a worse place than you started. While on the low carb diet, I struggled with constipation, low energy, fatigue, but I figured it was worth it for the body aesthetics.

I probably tried more weight loss pills through out high school than participated in any event. I honestly probably spent more time researching weight loss products and techniques more than studied- my grades began to reflect it.

Anyway, I graduated high school and began college in the fall. I went to a local CSU. I was happy there, and even got to run Cross Country. The way I prepared that summer for the team? Low carb dieting, and a heavy amount of miles logged running. I couldn't be the fat girl on the team. My past weight scrutinizers had now been replaced by my peers-at least in my mind. It worked-more or less, but while participating my my plan, I developed shin splints- which turned into stress fractures, and unsustainable running schedule- I was running close to 55-60 miles a week! I was miserable.

During this time, I endured a particularly hard family hardship, which didn't make things any easier, but I am not complaining. Things happen, and we adapt.

I kept taking weight loss pills, but now I had graduated to making my own. I was staking Ephedra. Making my own ECA stack that I had heard was a miracle worker- however now banned, due to death, stroke, heart attacks-no big deal things like that (sarcasm).

This is where things got bad. The high caffeine, and ephedra began to give me so much anxiety. I was fearful to go outside- I felt I would be taunted for my weight. I began to develop a body dysmophic disorder. I thought I was the fattest person on earth-simply grotesque. Although I was thin, I thought I looked like the most horrendous person ever. It was a bad time in my mind. I would cry alone. I felt like I had no one to talk to, no one who could even begin to understand.

So finally I checked into counseling. I have to confess, I scheduled and cancelled a lot of appointments until I finally went in. But I am happy I did. I met with a wonderful counselor who through many sessions allowed me grow and feel safe. She gave me a lot of information, advice, and served as the listening ear I needed. Things got better.

I went a while doing well. But I still had my weight phobia. Things became worse when I knew we would be getting company from "fat hating" family that summer. I embarked on my get slim for summer family visitors plan: Running high mileage~ 50 miles a week and virtually not eating anything. Sure enough it worked, and I looked great for the visit, but 2 weeks later I landed myself into the hospital. This was no regular hospital trip, I passed out unresponsive, the ambulance came and picked me up, intubated me because I couldn't breathe on my own, I was medi-flighted to a major hospital 2 hours away from my home town, where I was in the ICU for 4 days. It kills me to think of what it must have been like for my family. They were devastated. Doctors honestly told them they were unsure if I would make it, and if I did, I would likely be left with a severe impediment. My brother now recalls the situation and tells me " I didn't care if you came out needing us to bathe, feed, do everything for you- in my mind I had already made up my mind that I would do anything".. .he was only 17 years old at the time. There in the hospital my mom and brother would feed me; I was a wreck. I was so tired, my mind of was so foggy, my memory was terrible. I wasn't sure if this would be my life forever.

I give my family and God all the credit in the world that I was able to fully recover, and here I am still going through life.

I returned to counseling, where I was able to combat some of my weight demons that I had developed, but like any emotional scar, you have to keep working at it.

I want to tell you THAT THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO LOSE WEIGHT THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN TAKING CARE OF YOU AND YOUR HEALTH. Think of your family and your friends that love you. Love yourself for who you are, not what others think of you. I have learned that over the years. The emotional scars I built as a child sometimes resurface, but I have to remind myself that my worth does not lie in a number on the scale or the size of my jeans, but in the size of my heart and the extensions my positive actions have on others.

If you are struggling with your weight, and feel like you have to take things to an extreme, please stop. Please seek counseling. Nothing is that important that you should put yourself in harms way. Love yourself enough, and remember that. If you don't have anyone else to talk to, talk to me. If anyone understands, it's me.

You are beautiful just the way you are.

Your worth is measured by the size of your heart, not the size of your waist.
People that are worth it will see that <3

I  hope that by sharing my struggle, I can positively impact someone else out there. Even if it is just one person-I will feel happy. I want to let you know that there is hope- you can get better. It is so easy to turn a simple diet into an obsession or full blown disorder- I know this all too well.

Sending you all the love in the world. Be safe, healthy, fit and pretty.

-Carmen

Top 3 Reasons to Workout with a Friend

Okay, lets be honest, sometimes we don't feel like exercising. There are times when after a long hard day at work or school you just feel like coming home and sitting on the couch. The cast of Glee is practically singing "sit down and watch me" (in their oh so harmonious voices), Gloria from Modern Family is saying "Com waash me!!" ( at the top of her lungs, in her heavy accent), and Juan Pablo the Bachelor is asking you to accept the rose at the Rose Ceremony--taking place right now!

When this happens don't give in. Say no and remind yourself of this: the Journal of American Academy of Physician Assistants recommends that people exercise with a partner or group because they "are more likely to stay on track", so what are you waiting for? Call up a friend!!

Below you will find my top 3 reasons to grab a pal and start sweating:

1. Because it's Fun, duh :)  You get to chat with your BFF and catch up while jogging or participating in an exercise class- you pick. How fun is that?!!? Strengthening friendships and your bum, love <3

2. Extra Motivation- You are less likely to skip your sweat sessions if you know someone is waiting for you. This is so true, you will feel bad cancelling on your pal.

 3. Competitive factor- Despite what you may think, we all have that competitive spirit within us. Exercising with a friend will likely trigger that- you will be more likely to workout hard until the end.

Like they say, friends that sweat together, stay fit together... Well at least I say that :)

Today I enlisted two of my favorite gals: my mom and Golden Retriever, Cammy, for my morning sweat session. We ran 4 miles together-which honestly didn't even feel like hard work because we were having so much fun chatting.

So get out there today and sweat it out with your pals. Friends + exercise =LOVE= Great bikini body

X's and O's, your friend and fitness liaison,

-Carmen

Running on Happiness-Back to Basics

I often talk about the benefits of exercise- here, and in my daily conversations. I am what you could call a "self imposed exercise marketing specialist". I am here to remind you exercise is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. There is nothing that comes even close to how beneficial it is- I can't help but smile just talking about it. With that said, today I want to chat with you about how necessary it is to participate in enjoyable exercise; do what makes your heart sing and soul happy-especially during turbulent, trying, and incredibly stressful periods.

I recently began to think about how immensely important it is to engage in "enjoyable" exercise -lately life has been a little bit more hectic; I have several projects in the works-some that I will tune you into soon, promise :) But needless to say how blessed and fortunate I am to have such opportunities before me, I have to admit I have felt a little bit more stressed out than usual. I have to tell you how important it has been to engage in exercise that I truly love. I can tell you from experience that if you are participating in an exercise plan doesn't encompass exercises you love- it will be the first thing to fall off your to do list- and this won't help your stress.

With so many stressful things in life, I figured it would be silly of me to bog myself down with a stressful and tedious exercise programs-so I decided to bring things back down to basics. Instead of worrying about sets, and reps, and heart rate, blah blah blah. I stripped my workout down to the basics- I went back to my first, true and unfailing love: running. When all else fail me, running does not.



Running has always been a great escape for me. It has been a haven for my thoughts, feelings, and dreams. A safe place for me to share my hopes dreams and fears.  When its stripped down, and only me and the pavement, I feel I have made the greatest realizations, the biggest breakthroughs, and I have learned the most about myself.

I have decided that for the next few days I will just run. Run and relax. Work through my stress. Focus on me and my thoughts. Unplug from the world, and just be me.

Here is my workout for the moment:

Run

Nothing fancy. Nothing extreme. Simple and basic. My first love.

I encourage you all to take some time and strip your workout down to basics from time to time. Remember why you first fell in love with working out. Rekindle your relationship with exercise. Don't over think your workout. Don't add unneeded stress to yourself- bring it back to basics. Do what refreshes your soul. This way you will strengthen your body and mind- and what could possibly be better than that? <3

Being fit and pretty starts with your mind-so take care of that beautiful mind and soul of yours. Beauty starts from within.
-Carmen

P.S. I follow my run off with 100 crunches, 3 X 20 push ups, 3 X 20 lunges for added oh so sexy-hot body benefits ;)

Cardio Vs. Weight Training

Cardio vs. Weight training, the never ending debated question. So lets start by chatting about both.. 

Cardiovascular exercise is wonderful! It strengthens your heart, lungs, muscles, bones, trains your body to more efficiently transport oxygen and nutrients to your tissues,  and releases endorphin to keep you happy. Doesn't sound too shabby to me!

Now lets discuss weight training. Weight training is also nothing short of fabulous. It strengthens and builds bone and muscle mass, helps boost your metabolism by building more muscle, helps manage blood sugar, helps manage back pain; again endless wonderful benefits.

So with that said, why the constant dispute about which is better? To me this question should be more properly phrased as :

Cardio vs. weight training-which is better for my body composition goals at the moment?

This properly helps advise the person wondering which will help them achieve their body goals. So lets chat about that.

For someone who is overweight, and by overweight I don't mean according to your personal standards, but overweight defined as body mass index (BMI) greater than 25 ( unless your are a professional bodybuilder, then you need to go by body fat percentage). If your BMI is greater than 25 then I would say Cardio exercise will be your best friend, along with a modified calorie intake diet.

My exercise prescription for someone BMI 25 +

• 60 minutes of heart elevating cardiovascular exercise 4-5 times a week for quickest results. If you haven't exercised in ages, that's okay. Start off 3 days a week 30 minute sessions, start small and build up. Your cardiovascular system is wonderful at adapting quickly this will in turn boost your exercise confidence :) Remember, "watch your fork" as they say and stay within your calorie budget. Their is nothing worse than reversing your hard work in minutes.

My exercise prescription for someone BMI <25

• Weight training 4-5 times a week 45 minute sessions with cardiovascular exercise sessions of 30 minutes x3 a week. This will get you results fast. Lift weights that are heavy enough to make you struggle at repetition 8, but you can go to 10 reps still keeping perfect form. Try to work all your body parts either on separate days or do a full body workout. You will be amazed by the results. Like all fitness plans, I can't stress how key your diet is, watch what you eat and the results will come. This I can promise you.

There is it the cardio vs. weight training debate broken down for you. There are no winners, we are all friends; there is just one that at the moment will help us reach of fitness goals quicker.

How are you all doing on your exercise plans? Spring is rapidly approaching. In my area it is expected to be 82 degrees today, eeekk :o

Make sure to wear sunscreen. Enjoy the day, and get active.

Wishing you the best in your endeavors. Your friend and fitness facilitator,

-Carmen

Falling off my diet confession...

I have a confession. Maybe after I tell you I will feel better and be able to move on.  Yesterday was a day full of bad eating.

March 8th... started off like any other day. Who would've guessed such a diet crime would be committed...

I woke up. Ready for my day, hungry and ready to eat. I was craving something delicious. Something like granola. YUM! I thought to myself, no granola is so dense in calories, that little bit I will eat could be a lot more delicious healthy oatmeal with some added fixings to enhance its deliciousness.  So I made a bowl of oatmeal with protein powder and some blue berries. It was good, but I still wasn't satisfied.

I thought okay, I'll wait. Maybe my mind hasn't registered as full. Maybe I'll have some coffee. Maybe I'm just tired and craving the sugar. I slurped down my coffee, and waited. All I could think of was, how delicious that granola was, and how I really wanted some. And like most diet crimes, I rationalized eating just a little...

Well I had a little. It was so good! Omg! My long lost love, granola. Oh how I love you. I just wanted to sing and dance with pleasure. So I had a little more. A little granola never hurt anyone, right? This is where it got ugly. "Maybe I'll just have a little more?  Maybe I'll add some milk to it, that will make it so good. Maybe I'll have some blueberries too, omg that would be just divine. So I poured myself a huge bowl. I know what you a thinking, granola, wow, big deal, but no hear me out, this was not just a little granola, this was enough granola to feed a family of 3 with milk and blue berries. I ate enough granola to make me not ever need granola ever. Any more granola and I probably would have turned into a granola oat myself... and then turned around and eaten myself, because granola is just that darn good...aghh... I wish I was exaggerating..

A little bit later, in hopes of getting back on track, I had a snack...

Snack: Apple and mixed nuts

At that point I was doing better, and thought, okay smooth sailing, back on track... right? Wrong!

Lunch: 3, count them 3! peanut butter cookies with milk and small slice of digorno pizza.... Aghhh what is wrong with me?!?! I couldn't stop at one cookie, no I had to eat three. I figured well subway sells them to you 3 for a dollar, so that must be the serving, right? Ughhhh, no, no wrong, wrong, wrong, but yummy, yummy, yummy.

So now in hopes of not vastly exceeding my daily calories to maintain my weight, I had dinner... Luckily by dinner I had finally gotten my head on straight-somewhat.

Dinner: Steamed veggies, and but to follow my apathetic diet mode, I sprinkled some Parmesan cheese on them.... sigh*

:(

Ugh, I hate when this happens. After the eating the cookies, there was a point in my mind where I just though, f*** it, I all ready ruined my diet, might as well eat worse. Has that happened to you? That's such bad thinking. It's like saying okay I dropped my phone, now let me smash it in, drop it in mud, and then maybe submerge it in water.

But what can I say, we are human. We make mistakes. Maybe if we just admitted it, we wouldn't feel so ashamed when it happens and keep on doing it. So now, I hope that after getting it out there, and confessing this to you guys I can carry on with my normal healthy eating and workouts.

Drop me a line and tell me how your are doing. Have you also fallen off your diets? Come out and confess it. No judgement here.  Shout it out, let us know. Maybe if you put it out there, we won't all be trying to hide and pretend we are so perfect.

Honestly, I feel so much better! It felt great. Thanks for listening. Do yourself a favor and confess your diet sins to someone. If you don't want to tell a friend, post it here. We will understand, and then you can move forward. xoxo -c

How to sculpt Kelly Ripa Arms

Fan or non-fan, we all can agree that she has some really rocking arms. Her arms (and body) are those that most of us think we can only dream of. Not true! Here is a workout that will help you too get arms that look just like Kelly's.

Warm up 5-10 minutes jump roping, doing jumping jacks, or what I like to call a dynamic warm up (consisting of karate kicks- then plank, reverse kicks-then plank, and squats).

• 15 Push Ups
• 15 Band Bent Over Wide Rows

• 15 Band Bicep Curls
• 15 Band Overhead Tricep Extensions

• 1 Minute Arm Circles (30 seconds in each direction)
• 15 Band Lateral Raises

• 5 Sets of Push Up Planks (5-10 seconds on each hand counts as a set)
• 15 Back Bow Crossovers

• 15 Band Upright Rows
• 15 Band Overhead Presses

• 15 Tricep Push Ups
• 15 Band Bent over Close Rows

End with a cool down of stretching

Workouts like this one will help you get Kelly's arms, but you will have to pair this with a  healthy-calorie controlled diet to achieve maximum results.

Remember for your toned sexy arms to show you need to have a lean body. This will be achieved by eating a low calorie diet and doing at least 30 minutes of cardio everyday and doing these exercises 2-3 times a week. 

Enjoy! 

-C

Bikini Body Boot Camp Style Workout

Sound off!!

As summer starts to loom around the corner, for us most of us that means trying to start melting away that added fluff that we have added over the winter. As most of us, I, want results fast. To achieve that, I will need to do high intensity cardio mixed with strength training. This will burn the maximum amount of calories in the least amount of time, and build and strengthen muscle-which will increase my resting metabolism( i.e burn more calories all day long, even when watching your favorite reality TV show)- who doesn't want that!?

Bikini Body Bootcamp Style workout:


Best to do at a park with hills
Warm up 5-10 minutes jogging

• Sprints up hill x 5 sets, jog down
• Lunges up hill x 5 set, jog down
• Box Jumps up hill x 5 set, jog down
• Bunny Hops up hill x 5 set, jog down

Repeat x 2 times

• Up down's x 20 reps
• Triceps dips with knee ins x 20 reps
• Crap walks x 20 reps

Repeat x 3 times

• Plank with knee ins x 1 minutes x 3 sets
• Leg raises x 30 reps  x 3 sets

• Cool down with 20-30 minute jog

This workout should take ~1 hour and torch 400-600 calories, depending on body size ( I burnt 435 calories in 1 hour at 5'2 125 pounds doing this workout this morning).

Try this workout out and let me know how it goes. Talk soon.

Muah, xoxo

-C

Eating Healthy Doesn't have to be Hard... Protein Pancakes

When embarking on a "healthy eating" plan, immediately you think baby carrots, rice cakes, and in general boring foods. Gone are the days of delicious bacon, creamy ice cream, and decadent pancakes, right? Wrong!

Here is a great recipe that will help you stay on your diet. 

Protein Pancakes! YUM! So good you might permanently switch to these

1. 1/4 cup oatmeal
2. Half a banana
3. 1/4 scoop of your choice protein powder (chocolate tastes really good BTW)
4. 4 -5 tsp of liquid egg whites
5. Non stick cooking spray
6. A pinch of baking soda
7. A pinch of salt
8. Peanut butter to serve

Blend oatmeal, banana, protein powder, egg whites in blender. Heat skillet, spray non stick spray. Pour batter on skillet (make them as big or as small as your heart desires). Let them cook up, flip and serve. Add a table spoon or 2 of peanut butter or your favorite nut butter to serve, and voila! Delicious, nutricious, and healthy pancakes.Makes 2 pancakes.

Nutrition: 

• 10g fat
• 33 g carbs
• 22 g protein
• 308 calories

I made some for myself this morning after my workout.They were amazing!

Tell me what you think of the recipe? Good? Bad? Suggestions.

XOXO,

-C

P.S. Still craving that bacon? Try turkey bacon ;o.